Good Friends are Hard to Find

There are times that you want to share your vulnerability with people that you are comfortable with. While those times are certain, the people are not.

In times like those, you will appreciate any relation you had with people who really cares about you. Funny, I too find it difficult to find people whom I can talk openly with. Why do I think its funny? Because to be those people is actually what I try best, but when I switch to the other side, it is quite difficult to find a person with good listening quality.

I have a theory about this. Finding a good friend seems a lot easier when you are younger. This happens because you basically have more time to share with others; problems are easy to share because they are more general: school, relationship, travel, parents, etc; and you still have a dream of a better world with friends everywhere. The world was a simpler place then.

This picture is fading when you grow. Now you have more responsibilities and demands. Problems are more specific: i.e. relationship with wife and children. When you grow older, you need to choose which story and whom to tell. Finding a good friend is not as easy as it was.

When this happens, you tend to stick with the same circle of friends that we already knew and trust. Finding a new circle is not always easy, thus moving to a new environment can also cause a problem of integrating to existing circles of people. Problem(s) can come from your lack of trust towards the new group, or the other way around. This is why you tend to have more quality than quantity when you are choosing your friends.

This is why good friends are hard to find. Keeping a good relation with friends is also important for self-sustainability. It is indeed an amazing human trait, you always need someone to share your feelings with. *just a little note and reflection for myself.

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