25 Ways On How To Become Dutch

*these tips are not based on real research. These are jokes that have some level of truth in it.

1. Drink – in order of use – milk, coffee, beer. (They do it the other way around in Germany)
2. Have a calendar in your toilet with birthday dates of your loved ones.
3. Shower max 3 times a week, but for guys: never leave the house without styling your hair with jelly/foam.
4. See a football match and wear something orange.
5. Sing loudly at a bar.
6. Complain about the weather.
7. Say “I have leftovers,” instead of “I saved some” when giving food to unexpected guest.
8. Be good at math. It’s really handy when it comes to counting how much your part-of-the-bill-plus-tip expense is when eating out with your friends (even maybe with your significant other).
9. Leave your work when it’s time to go home, even when you only need to press enter to get the job’s complete. Your work for the day is finished when the time is up.

10. Expect the ‘there’s always something missing’ files when dealing with bureaucracy.
11. Be on time, except if you are a tram in Amsterdam.
12. Go out and sit outside the cafe when the sun shines, even when the wind is terribly cold.
13. Own at least 2 bikes, and park them wherever you want.
14. Learn how to text and bike.
15. Learn how to eat and bike.
16. Open a hyves account.
17. Learn to eat raw herring, drops sweets, and frikandel.
18. Eat hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles) and pindakaas (peanut butter) for breakfast and lunch.
19. Boast about your 3 weeks vacation by making a photo album and show it to your families and friends.
20. If you are a student, join a student fraternity and share a joint.
21. Have some barbecue tools. You have to bbq in the rare summer days.
22. Write emails with these 3 basic elements: (1) Beste someone –> (2) The points of your email –> (3) Groeten your name. Don’t ask “How’s the weather” or “How are you”. It’s American, not Dutch.
23. Throw a party and ask your friends to bring liqueur, while you prepare tons of beers, 2 bags of chips, 2 packs of nuts, and crackers with cheese for them.
24. Be tolerant – as long as it doesn’t bother you.
25. Always eat first before you go to a wedding because they only serve drinks and nuts. Not everyone is invited for dinner.

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2 Comments

  1. kalau mau jadi londo ireng gmana caranya :D

  2. caranya banyak2 mandi susu bro :D

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