That is a sentence of a song lyric called “Love the one you’re with” by Steven Stills (I prefer the hootie and the blowfish version). Well, I don’t like the song at all. Do you have to fight and give your best shot for love, or do you have to just let it go when you know that it’s impossible to do? This song often triggers that debate in my head.
I’ve been thinking about myself and what kind of relationship that I’m looking for. My good brother told me that he thinks I’m afraid of commitment. First I thought he must be joking because I’ve always been committed in all my past relationships. But then I remembered that most of the times I always came up with some funny patterns. Somehow I often got involved in difficult relationships.The funny thing is that I enjoyed it. Often, that relationship is so unthinkable that we knew someday we would broke up for some reasons. And when he told me those things, I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, I wanted to be in that relationship because I knew that it wont work anyway. But on the other hand, I can also see myself as a person who loves challenges in life. I kinda think I’m the later type.
Now, lets get back to the song shall we. Ok, let’s have a case study. Once upon a time there’ a prince who was in love with a princess far far away and she loves him too. However the princess does not want to have long distance relationship and has her own kingdom to manage. She thinks that the choice would be either for her to abandon her kingdom or the prince to come and move to her kingdom. On the other hand the prince is also expected to run his own kingdom. Now suddenly there’s another princess who is in love with the prince. This thing also happen to the princess, that there’s another prince coming on a white horse for her. However the prince never noticed the other princess because of his love towards the princess from far far away. But after a while he began to notice the other princess and wonder, “What should I do, should I go foolishly to be with the one that I love despite 5% of success (still have high hopes for that 5%) or this one that I’m not really in love with but is here for me in front of my very eyes?”
The thing is I’m a bit confused about what are the steps that I should take next when I have to face this kind of situation. I want to be with the one I love. But if I can’t be with her why should I love the one I’m with? I mean, why not try to be with the one I love? Isn’t loving the other princess sounds like running away and giving up? You know what, I can’t even love the one I’m with. D@#n! (curhat colongan hahahaha). But let me put it this way, ‘if you can’t be with the one you love’ means you are the one who wants to be with them and for some funny reason you can’t be with them. While ‘love the one you’re with’ means you will love them because they love you or because of the opportunity of being together. This a bit opportunistic yet realistic. So..? Which one am I? Which one are you?
13 Responses to ““when You Can’t Be With The One You Love…”
on 21 Sep 2007 at 4:18 pm # ulma haryanto
ceritaloe bikin bingung deh.. “Now suddenly there’s another princess who is in love with the prince. This thing also happen to the princess, that there’s another prince coming on a white horse for her.” huh?
love is grand and all tp hrs diliat sesuai logistik ga :p kata temen gw “the most beautiful love is the impossible love”. gw setuju. n if you really want to pursue that beautiful love, it will make you a hopeless romantic :p
which one are you? i think you still need to decide on what you really want out of any relationship. but my take is that you’re almost a hopeless romantic :p
“You know what, I can’t even love the one I’m with” (hooo..)
on 28 Sep 2007 at 3:57 pm # Szaszi
Binsar, I hope you find your Princess and you let yourself also be found by her. Its very special in ones life when you find and you are found in love. Not the impossible love is the one that is exciting but the love that you have to work out day by day. The real love is loving the Princess when she wakes up or when she is upset with you, or when you upset her, or when she is not princess like. Now that’s what I call love B.
on 01 Oct 2007 at 11:14 am # ulma haryanto
yea.. okay.. so i guess my understanding of love and relationship is not that mature yet
Szaszi, thank you so much for your comment and encouragement. I guess the biggest challenge for me at the moment is to take it easy and wait for the right person to found me or to be found. Wonder if being hopelessly romantic as Ulma said can be combined with day to day effort like you said. AS for now, I will stick to my drums and I’m thinking of getting more cymbals and snares for myself. That will keep me occupied hehehe.
on 08 Nov 2007 at 9:56 am # sisilia
iyaaaa,,, ceritanya aga muter2
apa ini salah satu ilustrasi kotbah?
aku nda setuju dengan istilah if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with
karena love will never lie, kalo cintanya sama orang lain masa iya kita harus memaksa diri untuk cinta sama orang yang emang “kebetulan” ada di situ.
Gampangnya aja, lagi pengen banget makan somay… tapi jauh, trus adanya batagor deket rumah… nahhh walaupun akhirnya kita makan tuh batagor dan walaupun rasnya mirip mirip,,,
tapi tetep aja bukan somay… gituu loohhh
dan yang tidak adil buat si another princess atau another prince di ceritamu itu adalah,,,
bagaimanapun cinta yang di dapat dari si princess atau si prince itu nda utuh,,,,
love is one crazy thing to explain…
hehehehehehe maap nihhh ikutan komen
ini bukan ilustrasi kotbah tapi pengalaman pribadi hahaha… betul tuh, aku juga ga setuju dengan lagu itu. cuma keadaan dalam hidup kadang2 membuat kita harus memilih, bahkan kita juga ga bisa bersama dengan orang yang dekat kita… itu sial bener namanya hahaha.. biar adil buat mereka yang ada dalam cerita itu, kita jodohin aja mereka, gimana??? biar endingnya kaya film india gitu loh hahahaha
on 08 Nov 2007 at 10:55 am # sisilia
nampaknya semua orang juga pernah ngalamin yang model kaya gitu…
sebenernya kaya kaka bilang, some times dari awal emang tau kalo ga bisa,, tapi tetep aja di jalanin trus akirnya nangis2 sendiri deh… uppsss jadi curcol
aku setuju untuk memilih,, tapi maksudnya jangan si orang yang ada di dekat kita jadi korban, dalam artian jadi seperti serep,,, yah gitu dehhh
jodoh menjodohkan seruu tuhh,,,
aku sudah berhasil menjodohkan beberapa pasangan, bahkan salah satunya mau nikah tahun ini hahahaha
kaya filem india,,, hmmm setujuuu
saya juga pencinta kuch2 hota hai…
tapi kadang ga ngeti kenapa harus ada cewe yang nasibnya kaya si kajol…
nah itu ada contoh bagus
kajol ga berhasil dapet the one she love yaitu si shahruk trus akhirnya dia mencoba untul love the one she with yaitu si… siapa tuu namanya…
nah akhirnya apa?
ga work out kan?
akhirnya balik sama sharukh kannn????
mmm, memang kuch2 hota hai adalah film terbaik pada zamannya hahaha,kapan lagi kita bisa kaya rahul, dapat dua2nya hahaha. nah, justru itu yg kumaksud sil, kenapa perjuangannya anjali tuh berat banget sementara rahul yg dapat enaknya. its so unfair for both of them, especially for amir khan. mmm, gmana ya jadinya?l
on 27 Nov 2007 at 5:18 pm # ikan_sepet
“can’t be with the one i love” memang ga enak. Sangking ga enaknya saya sampe sebel trus mikir kenapa sih kita bisa mpe berkali2 mengalami situasi seperti itu. kalau masing2 orang memang punya pasangan, kenapa tidak langsung dipertemukan sama pasangannya? kenapa harus berkali2 ketemu sama orang yang salah?
tapi lama2 saya jadi mikir… at the time saya ketemu “the right one”… saya pasti akan merasa sangat bersyukur.
ikan sepet…. hahaha… (sori, ketawa di namanya bukan di commentnya). yaa semua kan ada waktunya, pastinya akan bersyukur banget kalo nanti ketemu yang tepat…
on 29 Nov 2007 at 12:14 pm # sisilia
HE just let us learn our lesson, so when HE give us the right one we will treasure the one even more… kinda in the situation right now…
wooo… sama siapa sil hahaha.. bagi2 gosip dong!
on 06 Dec 2007 at 11:56 am # sisilia
gosip gosip gosipp dehhh kamyyuuu hehehehehe
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