I had this small discussion with a friend a week ago about she wanting to have a serious relationship. She realized that her ‘relationship orientation’ has changed from having fun towards serious one. Now, serious here means that it would be something that has future orientation (not always marriage I suppose). She said, she is now looking forward to seeing ’serious man’ for the future. What struck me is that she’s somehow younger than me. She’s only 23 and I’m 27. I mean, I am definitely thinking about marriage but not in the near future. I still want to concentrate on studying, work, and all that kind of craps hahaha.
At first I thought this must be a male and female thing. She was thinking like this because probably female biological clock ticks faster than male’s (I really hate this idea because my feminist side kicks in hahaha). However this idea fell into pieces if I have to consider her age, which is very young (for my standard). Then I was thinking that she might feel lonely and wants to have someone who cares for her. This idea seemed fit until I remembered that she was just recently being single, less than 3 months. Now what is the problem then? Why am I taking her words seriously.
You see, after they turned 23 most of Indonesian woman (based on my survey on my friends – not academically proven) would want a serious relationship. By serious I mean want to have a relationship not just based on the fun factor and start looking for a man that has future potential. Future potential means they know that the guy could become a husband material although not necessarily want to marry him. This changes the whole perspectives and orientation of what they are looking in a man. First they were looking for a fun and popular ones, now the lists are still there but moves backwards on their priority list. Now they are thinking about the category of being responsible, mature, and has a future kind of thing. Men are lucky that women always think about heart and kindness while beauty comes second hahaha. Some would have this orientation earlier than the age of 23, some would start at the age of 26, but mostly it never goes more than that. Why 23? I think that is the age when a woman finished college education (some would finish their master’s degree) and starting to think what do I want in life and what is my goal in life kind of questions. For those who want to have a family, they would start thinking the terms I mentioned above.
Now how about guys? I think I can’t speak for all men in the world, but I can speak on behalf of my friends. We are starting to think about getting serious when we turned 26. It usually started when we have decent job and already got some fun stuff for ourselves. Had some fun stuff means enjoying life from our own money. We will start thinking about how empty life is without someone to be on our side to spend that money with hahahaha. Now this is the not fun part, some guys don’t change their woman orientation. If they were looking for beauty and sexy, they might stuck on that category forever. Most of men will go for family orientation categories, meaning caring, loving, family loving, and I’m not going to add the categories of supporting each other, kind, understanding, etc, because they are standard categories for both men and women. Here comes the tricky part. Men will not be bothered to work hard to win a woman’s heart when the woman is playing hard to get. Why? Well, most guys wont even be bothered to work that hard. They would say, ‘well we have a hard job already at least relationship can help us ease up.’ Basically they don’t want to work as hard as they used to in winning a woman’s heart compared to when they were younger. If you’re playing hard to get, men would likely not to be bothered and leave.
This explains the whole idea why the age range of a couple would be that men are 3-5 years older than their spouses. Now, as I told you, I based this observation on my friends, who are mostly Indonesian living in Jakarta. So, do you agree with me? hahahaha
6 Responses to “Are You Looking For A Serious Relationship?”
on 21 Nov 2007 at 12:09 pm # sisilia
ahaaaa,,, menarik sekali artikelnya
artikel ini bahkan menahan aku dari meninggalkan kantor,,,,
kalo menurut aku emang bener kok, rata2 perempuan mulai umur segitu lah mikir unutk nikah,,,and i think i’m one of them hehehehehe
Mungkin karna perempuan lebih mengutamakan kenyamanan dan kepastian
karena itu jadi lebih mikir ngapain harus menjalin hubungan yang ga pasti, dan cape juga kan kalo harus buang2 waktu menjalani sesuatu yang ga jelas,,,as you said that female biological clocks tick faster than male.
Belum lagi harus menjalani masa2 break ups,,, hihh menyebalkan..
Jaid mungkin cewe lebih milih untuk menjalani yang pasti2 aja dan dijauhkan dari penderitaan yang ga perlu hehehehehe
kan kalo laki2 sampe umur brapa pun tetap akan ‘laku’ tapi kalo cewe i don’t thik so…
on 21 Nov 2007 at 4:43 pm # indri
hihihihi…ini ce nya maksudnya bukan gw kan yaps?gw blum 23 swlanya..hahaha
berarti dalam seminggu ini jadi topik utama lu donk oom?!swalnya ada lebih dr 1 orang ngomongin ini…hihihihi
sisil, cowo juga ada masa expiry nya kali hahahaha… yg pasti aku masih aman lah beberapa tahun ke depan, blom out dated hahahaha… selain itu ketika cewe sudah merubah orientasinya, akhirnya cowo2 seperti kami2 ini yang tidak good looking akhirnya jadi laku juga hahahahhaa
bukanlah dri… hahaha… ini orang lain. waktu kita ngobrol aku udah ngetik ini cuma blom di post aja.
on 22 Nov 2007 at 7:44 am # sisilia
hah.. ini pasti bukan abang yang nulis komen di atas…
mana ada statement “akhirnya cowo seperti kami2 ini yang tidak good looking” bisa keluar dari abang yang sangat mencintai dan mengagumi diri sendiri hahahahaha
hahahaha… itu namanya merendahkan diri di atas bukit hahahaha
on 23 Nov 2007 at 1:46 am # opi
buhuhuhu….lelaki racun dunia T_T
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