On Flirting

Posted (binsar) in Article, Love on January-20-2008

‘         I was sitting at a corner, in a room in Vancouver, during 1998 APEC Youth Forum, and I wanted to get this girl’s attention. She was also a participant of the forum. She’s Canadian, and definitely cute. I immediately walked up towards her and talked to the person next to her saying, “Could you please take a picture of me with this beautiful girl?” She was blushing, we took a picture, and we went out that night. My host told me that I was a smoothtalker. I didn’t know what it means until he explained that what I just did with the girl is an example of a smoothtalker. I think I was just being friendly with the girl. That’s my friend, is what they call “flirting”.

‘             Hmm, flirting. I remembered well when I wanted to ask some friends about the limitation of flirting, I mean to what extend can you call an action as flirting. I asked some of my girl friends (not girlfriend)! Some said, if you are doing it in a light way, then you can call that as flirting, i.e. sms, smile, looking at her, eye contact, etc. But when you are getting more intense, then it turns to ‘getting to know better’. Some answered that even by asking that question they suspected that I was flirting with them hahaha. Now, what is flirting and is it dangerous or not?

Wikipedia mentions that, “Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.” So, you cannot say that you are flirting when you don’t have a sexual or romantic interest towards the other person.

‘             Flirting is fun when you know the limit, especially for those who already in a relationship. It is a safe way of expressing your interest without the responsibility to continue it in a more serious manner. Flirting could also please the person you are flirting with because he/she would feel honored by the attention. To the extend of non-physical flirt, I would say that it is still safe.

‘             But it could also be dangerous when you think you know your limit when you already have a partner. It is not strange to see people with partner getting caught flirting with someone else. This accommodates their self-actualization because they need to see that they can still attract other people. But it can be dangerous when you cross the line. Sometimes, people who knows the limit seldom got caught in the midst of safe flirting and an affair. Precisely because you think you can draw your limit, you can be drawn in it.

‘             Anyways, I don’t want to discuss this very far, I just want to give you these tips about flirting techniques which are very interesting. You can just google flirting and you will see tons of links about it. I thought you might want to read this one. Enjoy flirting!

This article can be found on http://www.datingclass.com/seduction/flirting-techniques.shtml

These are critical if you are to get out of the “Friend” zone and into the “Potential Lover” category with any woman :

  1. Smiling. You must smile. You probably think you smile now, but you don’t, really. You should practice your smile in the mirror–to be big enough to be noticed, your smile will probably have to be bigger than you are used to.
  2. Getting caught looking. Most people look away when the object of their desire looks at them. If you want to let that person know you are interested, when she catches you looking, smile, hold eye contact a moment longer, then look away.
  3. Waving. A little wave to someone who caught you looking, along with a smile, is a non-intrusive, very flirty way to say “hello.”
  4. Winking. You can wink at someone from across the room, or wink at someone during a conversation. If she says something funny, or someone else does something silly, you can give a wink as a way of sharing a little moment for just the two of you, as if the two of you are in on some private joke no one else is aware of.
  5. Asking “what’s the story behind that?” You can ask “what’s the story behind that?” about any special or unusual thing your quarry is wearing or carrying. Examples: “that’s really neat bracelet you are wearing. What’s the story behind that?” or “That’s a really great briefcase. What’s the story behind that?” Even if there isn’t much of one, it’s given you some conversation.
  6. Holding eye contact. While you are conversing with her, you want to be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least once it’s a good idea to hold the eye contact a little “too long,” just a fraction too long, so there’s a brief, more intimate moment between you.
  7. Non-intrusive touching. This can be as simple as placing your hand lightly on her hand for a moment, or touching her back for a moment as you walk to a table to sit down. Just do this a couple of times on the first flirting interaction–if she pulls away, don’t do it again.
  8. Checking her out. Checking out her body must be done properly. The goal is for your new friend to feel complimented that you noticed her body, not objectified like some piece of meat. You do this by making eye contact, then quickly, in less than a second, passing your eyes down and then up over her body, then back to looking in the eyes. It should happen quickly, and you should be unashamed of taking a glance. Just don’t do it too often.
  9. Using the “Good-bye compliment.” If you are shy, flirting with the “good-bye compliment” may be just the thing you need. On your way out, you simply go up to the woman you want to flirt with, and say something like, “Hi, I have to go now, but before I did, I really wanted to let you know that you have a really great sense of style, and that I noticed it. I wish I had more time to spend with you, but I have to go.” Then leave. This allows you to build your confidence in approaching women, without having to take the risk of rejection–after all, you have to leave, you couldn’t stay even if they wanted you to! (Some men also ask for phone numbers at this point.)
  10. Stopping while it’s still fun. Remember, flirting should be fun, and you should leave the flirting interaction feeling victorious. Most men leave their flirting interactions feeling like failures because they don’t stop until it stops being fun. If you stop flirting on a high point, while it’s still fun, your new friend will feel good when thinking of you, and want to see you again.
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Comments:

pencari percikan on January 20th, 2008 at 6:31 am #

Hm.. nice explanations and tips!

sil on January 21st, 2008 at 6:32 am #

wahahahaha
tips berbahaya nihh,,, biasanya dari flirting2 pasti ada kelanjutanya,,, entah dalam bentuk real ataupun pikiran hohohohoho
kan kasian tuh orang yang abis di flirt bisa jadi kepikiran terus ;p
kalo menurut aku ini artikel tips how to be a successfully player… hahahaha
biasanya yang nulis sih sedang belajar untuk… atau sudah menjadi… dan sedang berbagi tips hehehehehehe

-peace bang ;p-

tutu on January 21st, 2008 at 1:58 pm #

Hidup raja buaya!

binsar on January 21st, 2008 at 2:24 pm #

enade… mana nih balasannya hahaha
sisil, yang nulis gini bukan maksud belajar atau sudah menjadi, cuma prihatin hahaha…
tutu… siapa raja buaya??? udah dibilang macan, bukan buaya!

sil on January 21st, 2008 at 5:29 pm #

prihatin sama korban-korban smoothtalker like you? hehehehehe
kan abang sendiri yangbilang, coba di lihat kembali di paragraf pertama…
pembukaan yang apik oleh bung binsar hehehehe

manbor on January 21st, 2008 at 7:22 pm #

behhh…diskusi apaan sih ini? gak ngerti!!!!

cape deh!!!

binsar on January 21st, 2008 at 11:24 pm #

hahahaha… korban??? ga ada kali sil! ada jg aku yg mengorbankan diri hahaha
boro… semua kan dipelajari dari lo!

anies on January 21st, 2008 at 11:50 pm #

Hmmmmm flirting…..it’s also danger thing for me.I just always try ‘n push my self to not flirt with someone else.’n i hope i’ll always can to do it.
For pak Pendeta,maybe if u finish u’r study u can to be “Pendeta specialis percintaan”hehehehehe.
abis yg diomongin masalah percintaan melulu:)
tar ditunggu seminar LSD-nya yach pak Pendeta!!!!!:)
(Love,Sex and Dating red:)
peace….

binsar on January 21st, 2008 at 11:59 pm #

yaa.. to be honest, sebenarnya tema ini lebih banyak menarik perhatian orang untuk baca blog ini hahaha

pencari percikan on January 22nd, 2008 at 9:48 am #

menarik perhatian atau … memanfaatkan “pembukaan” untuk menohok ha..ha..ha..

manbor on January 22nd, 2008 at 10:29 am #

ini mah pengalaman pribadi binsar (basi!!!) yang digunakan untuk memprovokasi teman yang akan berbuat…tau banget gw!!!!

kekekekeke
gimana pak pencari percikan? udah ada progress…??

vera on January 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 am #

Btw ini kah jurus terakhir & jurus handal utk mdptkan “someone special”?wah..gw byk banget nih temuin cowok pakai tips ini, skrg gw baru tau…d(he..he.. thanks ya bin…, wah ketahuan deh..)ya syukur sich ngak slalu jd korban,habis gimana ya…sometimes agak risih aj..

indri on January 22nd, 2008 at 1:00 pm #

wahahahaha…ga banget yg winking sama yg no8. gw sih digituin co yg ada gw kabur.jijik bener…hahaha…(geli)

hmm..pengen liat si oom ngelakuin itu..wahaha..

binsar on January 22nd, 2008 at 4:45 pm #

haaaahh???? indri… masa pengen melihat diriku melakukannya hahaha… pastilah menusuk hati… hihihi.

sil on January 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 am #

bang,, kaanya perlu di beri tips filrting by writing juga deh,,, kayanya lumayan ahli niihhh ;p
beneran ternyata topik2 lain nda laku, topik2 kontroversial kaya gini yang banyak penggemar,,,,untungnya abang ahli dan banyak pengalaman dalam bidang ini namanya juga CPPC hahahaha

binsar on January 24th, 2008 at 5:31 pm #

tuh kan, aku bilang juga apa. yg lain tuh ga laku sil. yang kontroversial gini yang laku hahaha…. mmm mau nulis apa lagi yaa….

feeey on February 15th, 2008 at 8:33 am #

bang, sambil jg harus nulis masa depannya…

binsar on February 19th, 2008 at 6:48 pm #

masa depan??? maksudnya??

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